#also i'm feeling really sleepy rn bc i had to get up early for an exam and i'm running on like 4.5h of sleep and i've had a long day alread

[airenyah]

it's fascinating how they're having the conversation about the earth revolving around the sun

all the while sun is the one orbiting "earth"

[aaallliiieee]

Ok a lot of feelings rn / it's like 30 degrees and I'm cold as fuck and I could just get in bed and get warm just I'm also half drunk rn and just wanna smoke a cigarette / I just met a bunch of new family members (grandfather's new girlfriend's family) and they're all nice also seemed really excited about my "job" "career" which I personally am not super confident about it but external validation never hurts / it's worth pursuing and I have potential at making it work / anyway tmro is Sunday and I'll have all day to get organized and get my shit together and then leave the following day and like, whatever happens thinking back to this time last year I literally had no idea what was going on and I went thru that whole weird ass Miami situation like no matter what this year is going to be better than last year; already is in a lot of ways and will be in ways that I can't even imagine yet; hoping to meet up with some friends along the way etc; life is just one big trip and here I am about to get paid for 4 days at a music festival lmfao get out of here with the doubt and insecurity bc this is Leveling Up no questions asked; anyway I love you everything is weird and everything is working out and life is going to keep unfolding in strange ways and the only thing I can do rn is go smoke A cig and then get warm and cozy in bed; and then next week I'll be in Florida and it'll be 89 degrees and sunny and humid and I'll be like "this is why I moved out of Florida" and then I'll spend 4 days walking around in the direct sunlight and then 4 nights partying and probably being sleepy and "going to bed early" and then it'll all be over and I'll go spend A day at the beach and Some time with my friends from college and then!! Who knows what'll happen after that!!! Right now I'm gonna go smoke a cig and then get warm in bed. Idk why I had to write all this out blame the alcohol also I'm kinda lonely. Anyway. Everything is working out can't wait to see what happens after this. I love you goodnight 💕

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Update I jinxed it we're not getting out early, we're rolling over into night shift until the headliner is loaded out so it's gonna be a 17+ hour shift 😛

But they let me drive the spotlight for some guy named Mike so that was cool

Now I'm gonna try to nap for an hour while Sturgill Simpson serenades upstairs :)

-

Update again, turns out I was confusing Sturgill Simpson for Chris Stapleton, it was not the chill vibe I was expecting so the nap didn't happen but it turned out to be a great country rock jam set so I sat out at front of house, left work at midnight, waited 40 minutes for the shuttle bus to take me to my car even though they're only paying us an extra 30 minutes for that whole process 🤡 , got back to the hotel, smoked a cigarette ate a gummy drank a beer took a shower, now it's 2am and I'm finally about to sleep

I love my life but I'm exhausted. My body feels sore, feels like today was a good mix of rest + exercise, stayed in a good mood pretty much the whole day, I'm feeling strong and capable and positive which is a really great feeling!!

I'm hungry, ate more than I wanted to today but when bossman hands you a meal ticket and says "go eat right now" you just do it; small portions today bc I wasn't hungry but of course now it's 2am and the weed is hitting and I'm hungry; also of course I'm just gonna ignore that bc it's 2am and I'm sleepy and don't have the energy to deal with eating right now lmfao;

I've been telling D we're gonna hang out for the off days but now I'm thinking about tomorrow, I wanna lay in bed and get high and read all day, I don't wanna socialize with anyone except certain coworkers, it's gonna be a weird vibe shift if I go camping with him for the next 4 days and then go back to work vs if I stay here and do some bonding activities with coworkers; idk we'll see how I feel in the morning. We've been talking about finding a river to swim in and he's been offering a massage (he does it professionally) which sounds nice but I also feel like I don't want to be sexual rn and it often turns out that way with us; but he's been respectful of my boundaries and I hope I can just say that and it won't be weird. All of this is a tomorrow problem honestly

But like for real even though it's exhausting I actually love my life, I've had some good bonding moments with coworkers, I got to set up some cool bands, learned how to do spot ops, etc etc, just made over a thousand dollars in one weekend ???????? Working on one of the main stages at a major music festival?????? Like what a fucking life bro I'm fucking killing it right now. "No pain no gain" etc like yeah it's a fucking challenging job but I'm growing so much in so many ways and it's amazing.

Anyway I'm gonna sleep now, like this post if you read the whole thing bc I'm convinced nobody reads this shit 😘